My husband is gone for 2 weeks to for work. I am really proud of everything he has accomplished, so I urged him to go. He is shooting a documentary on winter surfing this week, then next week, he heads to Real Screen in Washington to drum up business. His main success in my eyes, is not that he runs a small successful company, it is that he inspires people everyday. He loves life, and loves people, and loves their stories, and this is contagious.

However, his absence make it very hectic for me. It is a very tight schedule to get my sweet daughter to daycare and picked up on time (which he usually does). This morning, we were both up at 5:00 a.m. I arrived at her daycare steps at 7:15, then went to work. I have to park a 10 minute walk from the hospital, so I zoomed through rush-hour in traffic (in freezing rain), parked and ran. (did I mention that I was carrying a 10 lb text book, and a bag?). I arrived, and decided to run the 10 flights to the inpatient floor (the elevator is always on a milk-run at that time of day.) I rounded, and ran 10 floors back downstairs to rounds and presented my patients. A full-work day, and then reverse the order of my morning. I picked her up, and decided to try the gym (it has been 5 days, i need this for my sanity). So we drove to the gym, and lugged her in her car seat, her diaper bag, and my big backpack...dropped her in their daycare and ran my heart out, and finished with some tricep dips for good measure, packed her back up, back out into the storm, and made it back home. I ran the 3 flights into the apartment twice to unload all the stuff from the car... made her dinner, fed her, changed her, read her a story, sang and rocked her to sleep... and now, I am just about to start work...again. And I am still in my gym clothes. Wow, one day down, and only 9 more working days to go!

One thing I did yesterday was make up a whole bunch of pureed veggies for her , and froze them in ice cube trays. I also made a huge salad and some grilled chicken for my quick dinners and lunches. ( I am lucky my home call yesterday was slow! ) I am trying not to buy the 7.00$ salads at the hospital cafeteria these days... I am starting to need to budget for all of this childcare I am needing to pay for.

And you know, the family thing, I don't regret it. It is the " all right" part of my life. It is an absolute privilege to prepare pureed peas to scoop into her smiley little mouth. I am lucky to teach another joyous human being how to clap their hands. And my husband amazes me; my life is enriched by him. My career, I am undecided on about how I truly feel about it. Things were easier in medical school. I think I was just unlucky and hit a really unhappy residency program, and I am not sure how to handle it. I think of quitting almost everyday now. I know that is not cool. I know that life is too short. So, I just have to figure it all out somehow.